Nope. He couldnt sleep. Not tonight.

He never thought it would take such a heavy toll on his life. Obviously he overestimated what his mind is capable of. He thought it was just gonna be a short & sharp pain n tat would be all. Sucks to be'em. He was wrong~ The memories kept haunting him like ghosts~

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

U see, there's this wee little problem in his retarded brain he'd been tryin to solve - he still couldnt forget her. After all this time.

Bah, what would people think of him, his obsession. Who cares. Nothing mattered anymore. It was (& still is) killing him. He had to find somewhere to blast all his emotion off. This was the only option he had. (wad? confessin in a blog?)

He remembers tat he said something like "no matter what decision he'd make, it'll still hurt'em" Oh c'mon~ He didnt expect tat the effect would last THIS long. He thought his life would be so occupied by studying n drawing n playing. He'd indulge himself in all the fun he could squeeze out, from school from friends from playing from drawing from photographing from eating from flirting from WATEVA. When tat didnt work he thought he could forget just by tellin other people he'd forget it. He thought he'd be okay if he'd just be his usual whacky n cheeky self. But at the end of the day... well you can imagine what happens at the end of the day.

He didnt noe wad hit him. He just tot he shouldnt cower behind his false smiles and acting anymore. Yep, hiding it any longer would just prolong the torment done to himself. He couldnt take it anymore. He doesnt expect anyone to understand. After all, they're just not him, no matter how well they claim they know him, they're just not him.

So here goes~

HIS カンジ FOR HER NEVER CHANGED. JUST LIKE TAT DUMBASS SONNET-18~ HE'D WONDER NOW AND THEN IF HE'D MADE THE タダシクナイ CHOICE BACK THEN. HE'D WONDER IF SHE'D ALREADY ワスレマシタ EVERYTHING. HE'D WANTED HER TO KNOW HOW イタイ IT STILL IS, HOW クルシイ IT IS TO GO THROUGH THOSE DAYS. HE'D BEG TO BE GIVEN A　セカンド　チャンス. But he knows too well of what'll d answer b if he'd asked anyway~

Shit... sorry!

Posting some shit like this might be offending to someone. He knew he'd be selfish by pullin sumthing like this. But all he wants is to seek some mental comfort. He has nowhere else to go to.

He wants advice. Some USEFULL ones. Things like "don't pull mud bring water (direct translation to chinese, pls~)" or "sheesh get over it u pathetic guy jz forget it~" couldnt help him. So he's wondering if thr's any wise guy out HERE tat can supply him with something tat can put him to REST (yea REST)

Half his life is in a mess (dude, told you not to be so rash tat time~ serves you rite~) He knows his progress will be close to zero as long as he cant get over with it. What? You think he's some kinda iron man? He just a normal human with humanly-human-mentality. Alright put it straight, he admits he's just a guy who cant even overcome a mental obstacle like this. He couldnt. Cant. He needs outside help. Cant do it alone. And he needs a solution to this problem. ASAP. Any helpful comments please?

.

.

.

.

THIS IS ONE LAME POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But hey.. wads d use of creating a blog if he still had to think of what other people think about what he writes on it? No no NO ONE SHALL CONTROL WHAT HE WANTS TO POST. It's HIS OWN DOMAIN.. MAN!! He's tired of acting all-matured-&-adult and be considerate n sensitive about other people or the GREATER GOOD. For THIS once, he just wants to be a KID, and write whatever he wants in his BLOG. MAN?! He's needs help!!!!!!! Other people might be able to stand something like this (what are they, robots?), but he cant. Its too much a plight for him to take on.

.

.

.

.

.

Sheeshh it feels much better now. Man.. I cant believe you're still reading this.